Hello, Menopause. Welcome.

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I recently spent some time with a colleague of mine, Ayurvedic Practitioner Katelyn Sonnier (courses.katelynsonnier.com), talking about what is coming up during menopause. With her calm demeanor and open heart, she listened intently and softly as I came in hot with my pulse diagnosis and pitta vikrti, frustrated that I couldn't quite pinpoint which direction to go with a remedy. 

Katelyn started talking about what was underneath the surface — and quite honestly, the very things I didn’t want to look at. She wasn’t talking about willpower or a lack of desire to work hard. She was talking about old stories, narratives and beliefs. The hardening of the heart. The patterns we live inside for decades that simply don’t apply anymore. I’ve put hooks into so many things that once helped solve my problems, trying to drag them forward into this season of life. But like my jeans from 1986, they just don’t fit the same anymore. And they’ve become too heavy to carry.

And if I'm being honest, this season of life has me upside down. Sad. Confused. Angry. Questioning myself. Doubting past decisions and regretting others. Unsteady feels about the future. Sound familiar, Gen X?

In Ayurveda, menopause is not viewed as a failure of the body — it is viewed as a profound transition of identity, energy, purpose, and consciousness. The physical symptoms matter, of course: weight changes, sleep disruption, heat, dryness, inflammation, brain fog, emotional intensity. But Ayurveda also asks a deeper question:

What is no longer meant to move with me into this next chapter?

This is where the “change” becomes emotional, energetic, and even spiritual. And we have to sit still to figure it out. From an Ayurvedic lens, the physical body, mental body and emotional body are never separate. The tissues — especially fat tissue, reproductive tissue, and the lymphatic channels — are influenced not only by food and hormones, but by unprocessed experience. Old grief, resentment, self-protection, people-pleasing, chronic overgiving, and identities we’ve outgrown can become patterns that the body keeps rehearsing.

Not as punishment.
As memory.

Ayurveda teaches that stagnation accumulates when flow is interrupted. Physically, that may look like sluggish digestion, water retention, inflammation, and especially lymphatic congestion. Emotionally, it can look like:

• old regrets on repeat
• resistance to change
• clinging to routines that once worked
• fear of aging
• anger that was never expressed
• exhaustion from decades of “holding it all together”

And menopause tends to expose whatever has been quietly simmering underneath.

That is why so many women feel shocked, frustrated and pissed when the strategies that worked at 42 don't work at 52. We feel dismissed by our doctors when they nod, smile and say "Welcome to Menopause!" But here's the thing: our bodies are not betraying us - they are changing priorities and begging for our support. 

In Ayurveda, this stage of life is associated more strongly with the qualities of Vata: movement, dryness, sensitivity, transition, nervous system fluctuation, and introspection. The body often asks for:

• slower rhythms
• deeper nourishment
• more rest
• less pushing
• emotional honesty
• simplified routines
• healthier boundaries
• gentler metabolism support rather than aggressive control

But culturally, it seems we are taught to fight this change rather than participate in it.

There is often an aversion because “the change” threatens identities that have been reinforced for decades:

• “I should still be able to do what I did before.”
• “If I gain weight, I’m failing. So I can't slow down because,
• “If I slow down, I’m lazy.”
• “If my body changes, I’ve lost value.”
• "I'm not sexy anymore."
• “I just need more discipline.”

So instead of listening, we often search for the supplement, diet, hormone fix, workout, or magic protocol that allows us to avoid changing anything deeper.

But menopause itself is inherently transformational - it's called THE CHANGE after all. The body becomes less tolerant of misalignment. It stops buffering chronic stress the same way. It stops rewarding depletion. It becomes louder. It asks us to listen. It says "for the love of all that is holy, the jeans from 1986 make me chafe. Would you please, sit still and listen to what I have to say?"

In many traditions, this season of life is considered an initiation into wisdom — not a decline. A movement from outward production toward discernment, intuition, truth, and sovereignty. But modern culture often frames aging as something to resist at all costs, which creates conflict:
the body is asking for evolution while the mind is demanding preservation.

That tension alone can create suffering.

Ayurveda does not say: “Just think positively and the weight disappears.”

It asks us to:

• clear what is stagnant
• nourish what is depleted
• soften what is rigid
• digest what was never fully processed
• acknowledge and release what no longer belongs
• create new rituals for the person you are becoming

Sometimes the “heaviness” is not just calories or hormones. Sometimes it is accumulated obligation, grief, resentment, perfectionism, suppression or the nervous system’s attempt to create protection and stability. Often it is doing what we know we shouldn't, or not doing what we know we should. And this can be uncomfortable to hear because real change asks for participation, not just treatment.

The interesting thing is that when women begin approaching menopause not as a problem to defeat but as a conversation with the body, many shifts begin happening naturally:

• cravings change
• rhythms change
• priorities change
• relationships change
• tolerance changes
• energy becomes more precious
• intuition becomes stronger

The body often becomes more honest than it has ever been. In that way, “The Change” may be less about losing youth and more about releasing what is no longer sustainable. 

We are not broken, and there is nothing inherently wrong with us. So why do we resist it so fiercely? Perhaps even the most adaptable among us struggle to loosen the grip on what was. Or maybe, because we were never truly taught to listen to our own intuition, we don’t yet know how to trust the wisdom rising from within. 

In either case, we are asked to go inward. To sit with what is uncomfortable and observe. Not change, not judge. Just observe. To acknowledge what hurts or what brings joy and experience it fully. In this way we can digest all these feels, take what we need and leave the rest. 

A heartfelt thank you to Katelyn for her stirring questions, patience and beautiful heart.